And Finally, Here is My Result :

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straight forward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
( Down to Earth…., Well yeaa…,That’s Me…!!??!!….hohoo….)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
( Uupps…, Sorry…, But now I’m not looking for a boyfriend anymore, okayy..And unfortunately.., I’m not a true romantic person anyway…But sure thing that I would do anything to keep my true love if I just get married with someone I love.…Hohoo..)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
( You’re gonna be kidding me…!!??!!…Off course I will…Insya Allah…Amien…Hohoo…)

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that’s why you’ll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
( Me..??..Flirty..??..Are you mind..???…Give Me a Break…!!!!..Off course I’m Not…Well, Fine.., Okayy…Maybe I’m a very attractive person for somehow…*hohoo…But, behave seductively is way too far from me…Coz I’m not kind of that person, Okayy…)

Your views on education :
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
( Yea right.., Basictly, I don’t like study anyway…But, unusual Job..???…We’ll see…!!??!!…)

The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.
( Hohohoo…This one I Like…But only in a good term and condition, I guess…Coz I would better to choose this quotes…: ”Right Person In the Right Place…)

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
( Yupppss……Absolutely Right…….Amiennn….Amiennn………. )

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don’t ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
( Thank you Allah…at least I’m still have some Best friends around me…Lots of Love…^_^)

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
( Mature…??…Me..??…Not really…..However, I’m just an ordinary girl with “EMO” Spirits ever after who’s still trying to be a better person..,be a good professional pharmacist, and be a better moslemah, For sure……Amienn….. )

Whatever the result was tellin’ you…, “It’s Just a Game…”……Hohoo….^_^

Today, on the way to GMU, it was a glorious sunny day in the morning (Lebayy Mode “ON”), I recalled the song by “Paramore “called” “My Heart”. I think that, that was such a great song, and more than a song, I guess. I sang it from the bottom of my heart, deeply thinking, on the way to GMU :

“I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I’ve fallen down and I can’t do this alone

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we’ll sing it back to You
We could sing our own but what would it be without You?

I am nothing now and it’s been so long
Since I’ve heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we’ll sing it back to You
We could sing our own but what would it be without You?

This heart, it beats, beats for only You
This heart, it beats, beats for only You

This heart, it beats, beats for only You
My heart is Yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only You
My heart is Yours
(My heart, it beats for You)

This heart, it beats, beats for only You (It beats, beats for only You)
My heart is Yours (My heart is Yours)

This heart, it beats, beats for only You (Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away)
My heart, my heart is Yours (Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away)

(Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away) My heart is Yours
(Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away) My heart is Yours
(Please don’t go, please don’t fade away)
(Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away) My heart is…”

It depends on you…, on how you’re gonna translate this song and to whom you’re gonna sing for, whether it’s just more or not more than a love song in ordinary. For the first impressions, maybe people thought that this song was just like “ a strange foreign beauty” loveable song ever, I guess…….

Seriously though…, But not for me…I’d rather to choose to construct additional furthers understanding by coordinating my own sensory experiences related to the depth meaning of this lyrics inside

Well yea, this song are tells about what I’m feel now….….(*at least I’ve got a “lunacy fringe” hard feeling with this song)…….Sometimes I’m just thinking about that why I didn’t get somethings “that I want” that I prayed for. Sometimes I feel like God (Allah SWT) has let me down or is not listening. Why Allah not always answer my prayers in a fast way for somehow?. (* Honestly, I’m just wondering all the time…)

And you know what??…Because of that feelings, sometimes I feel like I wake up practically every morning in a daze, with an overwhelming feeling foreboding that I didn’t know how where it came from…..(* Just only when I got that feeling in a such way, okayy…)…..

And when that feeling was just come over me, day-by-day, I’m just feels like …..Mmmmh…..feels like away from the lights in my eyes, breaking apart all this love in my heart, untill I’m feeling tired with all of this…feeling empty…feeling lonely…,and I’m feels like nothing..and nothing.., for been so long.

I’m try to holding on inside, day by day-living moment by moment, try not to hide how I feel, but I can’t……….(*Poor, Astri…, *Sigh….)…

Then, as years gone by…, Until one day, I realized that, there’s a sound that calls me : “ Come on Astri, wake up girl, where have you been??..You cannot do this stuff for all of the time over and over again, dude…!!??!!…………….Should done something for you, Girl…!!……Just Wake up and Get up Astriiiii…”. …“ Just trust that Allah doesn’t give us “Tests” without using it to create “Test”imony”. And just believe that Allah always has a plan for each of us and that does not end when our time here on earth is Up…(When our time End’s Up,Astri…End’s Up, okayy…??….* Ingaatt…Ingaatt…*Tiiiing.)…

Realize this, then I’ll try to made a list of everythings good that Allah always gives that gift to me, and for all of this blessing’s Life I’ve ever had…….

I wracked my brain thingking of every single little thing I could- big or small- that always been given to me. And the results are : “Well yea, I have an extraordinary life , *I guess, I have a good worthed big happy family (* and I guess so…hahaa..and I’m very thankfull for all of this..), I have a good carrier indeed (*Academically and practically, Insya Allah, Amienn…), I work hard tending to my faith each day, and I have so many best friends who always supporting me in my whole life ever. Sure thing, I believe that Allah knows all things about me including what is the best for me…and for my life…”

In the other hand, the most important thing is : Okayy.., Maybe sometimes we express our opinion to God and request our wills be done ( *Mmmhh…I mean, as soon as possible be done..). But remember, you Guys, (and remember for you also Astri), that however the bottom line is that ALLAH SWT is in CONTROL…., okayy…!!!!!!………

Allah sees our bigger path in the grand design of things………

So, now I’m know that why I didn’t get some things “that I want” that I prayed for??….

And the answer is I believe that Allah always answer all prayers in somehow (* If we kept the faith and believes in Allah and then truly effort as hard as we can do trough our behaviour according to Allah’s rule…)- just not necessarily the answer we are hoping for. I know Allah is always listening to us. So, Astri, you must believe that Allah SWT’s answers are always in your best interest, okayy…(Chaiyoooo…Astriii…..)

So, finally, the last but not least, “ Just keep walking forward to the victory that waits for each of us, which always comes with surrending ourselves to Allah SWT divine timing and order for our greatest good things in our life”…….

(* It’s Just a matter of time…Okayy Astri…,I’it.., Rachma, or whatever my name..!??!…)

Because, “ We Might Not Get What We Want, but Allah SWT Will Give Us What We Need, Right..?? ”…*Pastinyaa……..

Back to the Paramore’s song Lyrics, which is the part that Halley Hayes sings about

Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away……….Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away……… coz My heart is Yours (Allah SWT)……………………….and My heart is Yours (Allah SWT)………………………

For this, I always Pray.., Pray…,and Pray to Allah SWT : “Please, just never leave me alone, Yaa Allah…Please stay with me, coz this is what I need, please, Coz I need You…Coz my heart is Yours…, and will always be Yours…”

(* This Post is Dedicated for Me and My Self….May Allah SWT be with us always….Amienn….

“Keep Rockin’ Astrii…Just Go with the flow and keep moving, but don’t forget Allah in every single steps you take, Okayy”

(Astri I’it Rachmawati, 2008)

When we were child, He bought an accoustic guitar for his son (my brother) and a keyboard/organ for his daughters (me and my sister). He teach us (* though just a little bit I think, coz on the other way, we’re practically doing all this stuff by ourselves), how to play all of that instrument.

So, we’re just play it, until now….(* But only my brother and I, not in my sister, she’d prefer to choose another activity and sings on her own way rather than playing the instrument…hahaa…)..

Well, actually, in this part of my post, I wouldn’t tell you the stories about my childhood memories in how I played that instrument in a such way, but I’m just wanna tellin’ you that now I’m still learning how to play the piano or the songs with piano chords in a such a good way. That’s why now, I’d better to choose taking the piano lesson via online, than taking the piano course class in a piano class institution…

StiLL trying to Learn....and Learn...and Learns More..................

Actually, there’s no objection for me to taking the piano class in a piano class course intitution. Well, at least, I don’t mind for that, and I don’t mind at all if I have that chance come over me now and if I have more time to do that….but unfortunately, I can’t do that and I won’t do that…(* Coz I’ve got a lot of things to do now, and I have to work all of the time, for sure…In the other hand, it’s too late for me to do that…Poor you, Astrii…*Sigh…)……

So, I decide to take the lesson from this LINK…Just check this out (* Just only if you have the same interest with me…)….

Through this Link, You’ve probably heard and learn from musicians and piano teachers, just how important it is to train your ear and practising to play in order to both transcribe songs and play piano better…..(* I mean, maybe through this, it can help you to practise, even just a little bit <for me>…hohoo…)

Okayy..,may good things are coming in your way, friends….

Take your time and just enjoying it………………^.^

(Astri I’it Rachmawati, 2009)

Please, Read and Listen to this Song carefully………..

(Taken From : The Cure Song- A Letter to Elise)…I just sang it on the way to home to Jogjakarta….The Most Gorgeous City Ever….:

“Oh Elise it doesn’t matter what you say……

I just can’t stay here every yesterday….

Like keep on acting out the same…..

The way we act out…………

Every way to smile…….Forget…

And make-believe we never needed…….

Any more than this………….Any more than this

Oh Elise it doesn’t matter what you do

I know I’ll never really get inside of you

To make your eyes catch fire

The way they should

The way the blue could pull me in

If they only would

If they only would

At least I’d lose this sense of sensing something else

That hides away

From me and you

There’re worlds to part

With aching looks and breaking hearts

And all the prayers your hands can make

Oh I just take as much as you can throw

And then throw it all away

Oh I throw it all away

Like throwing faces at the sky

Like throwing arms round

Yesterday

I stood and stared

Wide-eyed in front of you

And the face I saw looked back

The way I wanted to

But I just can’t hold my tears away

The way you do

Elise believe I never wanted this

I thought this time I’d keep all of my promises

I thought you were the girl I always dreamed about

But I let the dream go

And the promises broke

And the make-believe ran out…

So Elise

It doesn’t matter what you say

I just can’t stay here every yesterday

Like keep on acting out the same

The way we act out

Every way to smile

Forget

And make-believe we never needed

Any more than this

Any more than this

And every time I try to pick it up

Like falling sand

As fast as I pick it up

It runs away through my clutching hands

But there’s nothing else I can really do

There’s nothing else I can really do

There’s nothing else

I can really do

At all…”

And here is my review about this song…I mean that, well.., here is the relationship between this song and me…This is how about my heart’s (Iit astri’s heart) revealed, for exactly……….

Plugging you in my life.., it’s just like I can’t put my fingers on you…For this time, I will not listening on you….and I’m not listening anyway for somehow…, and I won’t…

Where have you been for so Long..??…you’re just…,you’ll never there when I need for some help…you’re just not there when I’m needed someone staying awake with me to chase my dream, our dream together..you’ll never worried when this world crack falls down on me..you’re just not there when my trouble grows the worst…Did u ever really care about me in the good times and the bad..??..when I go in your way or not..??..

Did you really ever remembering me when the others are forgot..??…You’re even never ever care about me, whether sun or shadows near…you’re just even don’t know my name…you’re just way to slow…it’s you…, and it’s just you with your own world…it’s you…, and it’s just you with your own bussiness..just only you and your world, isn’t it…

That’s why I always say that Why should I Love you again, my Dear..??..you’re not count.., and pardon me…That’s why Jim Morrison says that : “I just can’t stay here every yesterday, Like keep on acting out the same…So, just forget it, and make-believe we never needed any more than this…Coz there’s nothing else I can really do.. And there’s nothing else I can really do at all…”

(This post is dedicated for someone, that I’ve never belongs to…)

* (and For aLL of this.., I Love ALLAH SWT…coz YOU’re the only one, and YOU’re just the only one that I’ve Got……)

(Astri I’it Rachmawati, 2008)

Together….

We start to learn,..we start to breath,…

to crawl…to fight…

and to proof that we are all the best…

We proof that we are all the one…

Like every single tree reach for the sky…

Like our eyes opened up with pure sunlight,…

Our happiness…our sadness…

Our freshes smile…our regretfull…and our tear…

it’s just like a blue and yellow becoming the one…

becoming the part of use…

in every second we breath…

in every hour we hear…

in every day we fall…

But we’re not alone my friend..

There is more to this we know…

We can make it out…

and we will live to tell…

However, through this we can learn!

See the live that it turn…

Find the meaning of all of this…

Becoming the journey for victory…(Astri I’it Rachmawati, 2008)

* Margono's PKPA , Faculty of Pharmacy, Gadjah Mada University, 2008

Notria-Margono…the places that you can find me below for the last three months…before I have already know this…I have the same..the one where I wake up last dream again about notria…the one where I wake up last dream again about margono..it goes like a chains reaction…my viscious pain, they warning sign, my regret, my anger, my happiness, my emotion, my empathy, my dignity, and my weaknesses, it’s all like in how you mix the two…it’s like a feeling that you cannot missed, and it burn to hole through everyone that feels it…Pharmacist….one word that will lead us to the fight that we fight alone.. a word that lead us to save the dims of a fading light in our souls….we’ll never walk alone my friend…and we can not breathe unless we do this all together…”Just be a white pharmacist”..that was usually they told me about…for every word they say about these lines…however it pushed me to realize that I can be the one…I can be like that..Insya Allah..as long as I keep these in faith, a faithfull and believes in Allah SWT, for sure…… Keep fighting ya teman sejawatku..Im sure that it won’t be long..we’ve make The Journey for Victory…and life’s waiting to begin…from now….

(Astri i’it Rachmawati, 2008)